‘But the upper classes, they know it’s just words. It’s “pass me the facking grouse” all the time with ‘em’

Rita from Educating Rita

I think that the fact that I started really learning English when I was 11 has a lot to do with the kind of words I use. Especially curses.

I have no trouble saying the F-word occasionally to spice up a conversation. I’m not saying that every other word I say or write is a curse, but I noticed that my English friends, even when agitated, swear very occasionally, and not at all during a normal conversation.

But I don’t consider myself rude. In my own language, I would never say the F-word. It seems that it’s really the nurture which shapes our vocabulary. If you lived your whole life with (decent) English speaking parents, you are probably less likely to use swear words in your casual conversation. But when you start learning a new language, your parents aren’t there to tell you what words you should not use. Your teacher never says: “Now children, this is how you say the F-word in Spanish/French/Japanese. But do not say that word, or I’ll have your parents ground you/reduce your allowance/bury you alive.”

In fact, this is what we miss. Not that we need some omnipotent moral authority to tell us what’s right and wrong, but we do need to understand that there really are people offended by those words. We should know that although it’s possible to insert certain words and phrases into your sentence structure, it should not be done just like that and that some consideration for the native speakers must be given.

Here, this side of the argument breaks off, and we begin with the counter-argument…

Just like Rita says in the play, they are just words, and the meaning that we gave them is the meaning they carry. That doesn’t justify their common use, but we must understand that words are meant to be spoken and written. It’s a bit of a hypocrisy really. You say: ‘Here you have all the words in the world, but there are special seven words (thirteen if you’re a sailor - Mr Krabs) you must never use’. Why invent them in the first place. Shouldn’t it be better to not include them in the dictionary and try to forget all about their existence? No, because besides the fact that this would be very 1984-esque, we must realize that everyone is offended by something else. Besides the 7 crown jewels of foul language, there are countless other words that some groups of people consider offensive; such as racial slurs, childhood nicknames (’brace face’), or names for things we’d rather never had (fascism, H-bomb).

So you cannot be all surprised if someone like Madonna says: ‘People don’t want to hear “fuck” on television after 10 PM?’, because, she’s essentially correct, even if completely rude. Young kids should not be watching after 10 PM, and if you know that someone will say the F-word in a show, you can change the channel (see how good you have it, people who live in dictatorships usually don’t even have this trivial choice and have to listen to obscenities of their leaders all the time).

So, it is possible to avoid the F-word and the other infamous words. And, judging by my English friends, who are exposed to swear words on TV about as much as I am, I would suppose that if you provide guidance early on, your children will not grow up to be foul mouthed brats.

I suppose that we’ll have to deal with these words until the end of time, and maybe that’s not bad thing. They teach us respect and self-control, something that cannot be said about words like ‘bunny’ or ‘kitty’. And don’t worry, only a small portion of grown ups (usually in showbiz), like Samuel L Jackson use curse-words to earn living (because he’s tired of those motherfucking snakes…), and the chance that any kid is the new Samuel L Jackson is really slim indeed.

Peter S

Your response: