October Files: Are sweet dreams made of this?

Lately, in the past week or so, I have had the two strangest dreams. Thay were so surreal and bizzare, but at least they weren’t frightening.

Anyways, the first dream involved:

Central Station in The Hague, Me, a bunch of stoners with handcuffs being led into the tramtunnel by the police, one of my uncles as one of the stoners, a crazy tram ride, a Mini Cooper that I dreamt up, me in the Mini with my uncle towing a Hummer through a playground near my house.

The fist dream was also strange an it featured the following:

Me pregnant (I’m a guy), the street I used to live in in Slovakia, a  new apartment building with units that slide in, my father buying a Porsche and a mountain bike to combat mid life crisis, walking into his new flat and setting off the alarm, being shouted at by a random guy for breaking and entering (how insensitive, shouting at a pregnant person), the random guy turned out to be my mother’s old high-school classmate.

Can it get any crazier? I wonder why I dreamt all those things? I know that dreams are often projected images of what we actually do during the day and our memories, so I can explain the tram, Central station and setting off the alarm. But my uncle isn’t a stoner, my father doesn’t have a mid-life crisis and I’m not pregnant. Maybe it shows my suppressed desires, which would mean I want to be pregnant, but that, somehow makes very little sense. I certainly don’t want to be shouted at by my mother’s old classmates.

Man, if I didn’t know myself better, I would think I’ve been smoking some funny things. In my case, I would guess that the cause of it all are bad eating habits, especially the one when I have to nibble on something during a film on TV. And I always thought that people claiming to have weird dreams after a night meals were being silly. So now we know (put on Eurythmics!): Sweet dreams are made of this…

Peter

October Files: Conspire, Expire

Mohamed Al-Fayed, the father of Diana’s lover, Dodi Al-Fayed, and the owner  of Harrods has been arrested for child molestation, or something similarly ridiculous.

What we don’t realise is that this is simply a giant conspiracy by the British Government, and Her Majesty, the Queen. A reliable source overheard Her Majesty talking on the phone with Judi Dench, the head of MI 6 and James Bond’s boss, about taking the old Al-Fayed down, because he discovered the terrible truth.

Lady Di was indeed pregnant, but the French police dissolved the unborn child with the alcohol from the chauffeur’s blood. Mohamed has known this all along, because he placed a tiny microphone into the Queen’s Christmas present which Prince Charles bought at Harrods.

After he made these shocking truths public, the Royal Family decided that he must be eliminated. Therefore, James Bond contacted Olga Kurylenko’s 15 year old cousin (who also wants to become a Bond girl later in life), and set the scene for Mohamed Al-Fayed’s downfall. They drugged him and inserted the young girl’s breast under the old man’s uncounscious arm.

Thus the villains of this piece have succeeded in making sure that the truth will never see the light of day, because the only man who knows it has been discredited.

If this isn’t a good conspiracy theory, then I don’t know what is. I think it even tops the one that Mohammed Al-Fayed supported, even though I say it myself. HA!

Peter

October Files: In Obama’s America, Wealth Redistributes YOU!

I thought I’d never get involved in this, but here we go.

What happens in America, stays in America. Or at least it should. Therefore, I should not really give the slightest damn about who’s going to win this election. I’m not American, I haven’t even been to the US yet. So rather than writing that McCain is really, really old, Palin is bit of a joke (albeit an attractive one) and that Obama is a Muslim communist, I would like to make one thing clear.

As someone foreign (a kind of objective outsider), I will refrain from telling which candidate is the one, but I would still like to clear up the whole Obama=Socialist concept, because I think this view is a bit skewed. I notice many Americans are very defensive when it comes to their money. After all, it’s their American Dream, and no government should prevent their aspirations from coming true. These are the arguments that people use when they talk about how horrible wealth redistribution is.

“It didn’t work in Communist Russia”- Yes, it did not work. But the system was very different. There was one political party, state control of businesses (planned economy), corruption and public’s indifference. But the Obama has no plans for 100% state control, censorship or oppression. After 4 years, the American people can decide whether his policies were for the good or not, and elect someone who might have better plans, which does not equal to 80 years of communist rule.

“I’d pay 50% of my income just like people in Britain”- And guess what, despite those taxes, the British manage quite well. Most of them can even afford bread and sometimes, they even buy simple appliances. The fact is, I know a great deal of families, whose income is heavily taxed (simply because they make a lot of money) and guess what, they still wear designer clothes, buy iPods, go to the movies and enjoy life in general. And anyway, it’s the only really well off that have higher taxes, so it doesn’t effect the average Joe (the plumber).

“I will pay all the bums to do nothing”- No, there are certain rules for getting benefits, so someone who refuses to work, they would still receive welfare (even in America, I for once know that Kenny McCormick’s family lives on benefits), but they would not lead a more opulent lifestyle than someone who actually works hard for their money.

“It encourages people to be lazy”- Not entirely. Although it is true that the poorer will have more security, I am pretty sure, that to be on welfare in the US is something shameful and dirty, so they might be peer pressured into working harder. In any way, benefits won’t buy you a house with a swimming pool in that nice neighbourhood. It just means that people can afford the basic necessities they need for their children.

“Anyone can become a millionaire if they work hard”- This is one of those half-truths that most people believe almost anywhere. Sure, everyone can reach their full potential if they work hard and make the right decisions. But consider someone who wants to become a kindergarten teacher, it is very unlikely they’ll become a millionaire, even though they love their job and do their best. Yet almost no-one questions that kindergarten teachers are good for the society, even though they aren’t millionaires. Luck, talent, and shrewd decisions are also a few things that make a millionaire, although they are rarely mentioned in the cliché phrase.

As I said, I am not the one to throw mud or judge, simply because it should not be my concern, since the USA is not my country. I just think that these points need to be cleared up before anyone can make a rational decision. Now get out there and vote, you hard-working Joe the plumber!

Nevermore! Until the next election, that is (maybe).

Peter S(omeone not from the US)

PS: This is the first of the October Files to be published.

GO/NOGO and the Case of the Big Mouth (23/10/08)

GO/NOGO is one of those scholarly inventions that TU Delft uses to eliminate second-rate work from reaching teacher’s hands, by simply telling you that you can’t go on with the project because the work you’ve handed in so far was sub-standard and they can’t expect you to produce anything halfway decent till the real deadline.

So, it was our little alpha/gamma group (a subject that deals with sustainability and society-how comformist). Our teacher is a very reasonable guy (with a reasonable afro), who, after telling us things we could have done better, told us: “See, last week, you would have gotten a GO, but now as we’ve progressed, you’re nine points short. You should have used sources to back up your arguments…”

Now, we were all shocked, for we all worked extremely hard, I even used a dictionary to check for Dutch articles (“de” and “het”), and a NOGO just didn’t seem like an option. But just then, somebdy brave said: “but we did, look, they’re attached right at the very end.” The teacher looked at it, paused for a minute and said: “Oh, I see, I didn’t get to that part.” To be honest, the bibliography was all the way at the back, even beyond the Appednix (Great job, layou person).

But the teacher continued: “This means that you all got a GO and don’t need to make an extra assignment.” (I said he was reasonable).

What is the moral of this story? Whenever someone tries to have the last word, always say: “BUT…”. It might just save your ass from extra work.

Peace Out

Peter

iFon

This is not the sort of thing I usually do, but I do find this a great joke. I love Macs and people who use Macs (entirely platonically), but in this world, you should be able to poke fun at anyone, so…

It basically compares an iPhone to a brick.

The comparison includes (from top to bottom):

MMS, Video recording, Videocall, Changeable Memory Card and Touchscreen. As you can see, there is only one difference

Peter

Source:www.sme.sk

Peter’s Top 3 2007/2008

It’s been a year since I started this blog, which means that I will once again rejoice in my own vanity and publish a ‘Best Of’ list. All the Blogs from Sepetember 2007 until August 2008 will be taken into account and I will once again give my personal favourites (even though I say it myself). Hope you’ll enjoy.

Peter

The Blood Countess

Like Lord Edgeware, who was killed by his wife, the American actress Jane Wilkinson, I too enjoy the macabre, although in very small doses, spread over a longer periods of time. I suppose a little grimness at one point in time never killed anyone, so I just go with it.

Now, I could really say anything that would shock you, like, say, that I enjoy others’ pain, or that I want go dancing on people’s graves, but I won’t say that. That is for another entry, maybe in time, I will publish a list of possible dance-graves, but that is not wahy I sat down to write tonight.

I wanted to express my fascination with The Blood Countess, The Female Dracula, or as she is affectionately knwown, Betty Bathory. I can’t say that her story is particularly enjoyable, but here it is nonetheless…

In the monsterously dark Middle Ages (more like the latter half of 16th century), Betty was born to a wealthy family, that owned about a third of Hungary. At the age of fifteen, she had a marriage arranged with another noble (a man, obviosly), who gave her a town of Caxhtice as her engagement (or was it wedding?) gift. I will spare you the dreary details of their domestic life, except that Betty stayed at home and bore children, while her husband was always off, fighting the Turks. Some things never change, do they?

Betty’s husband died when she was still relatively young, but she was still full of life, which she often replenished (life, that is), by torturing her female servants and maids to death. I could spare you the juicy details, but this time, I won’t. Betty starved them, locked them up, beat them, cut them, pour cold water over them, and, as the legend suggest, she even drained them of blood, but not to drink it. (They make wine near Cachtice, red wine actually. Oh the irony!). Nevertheless, with litres of blood from young virgins, Betty decided to use it. What better use than to bathe in it. Apperently, it made her all young and sexy.

She didn’t get away with it completely, she was walled up in her castle where she eventually died, even though the king wanted her to burn on the stake.

So, there arte several conclusion to draw from this legend.

1. Bathing in blood makes you look young and hot. The blood must be from virgins, though.

2. If Betty were alive today, she couldn’t continue her bathing, because

a. The police is more efficient, and her nobility status versus the peasantry wouldn’t be an advantege anymore

b. She probably couln’t find enough virgins, even at elementary schools.

3. 100 years after Dracula, drinking blood was already so yesterday.

So what was this entry about? Nothing! What’s your point.

Peter